My Fair Maggie
Here’s to the long-suffering Maggie Evans
Collinsport’s most eligible bachelorette
In your quest for the knight in shining armor
You mustn’t do anything you may regret
One evening at The Blue Whale
Batting those beautiful brown eyes
You caught the eye of Willie Loomis
Maggie Evans… temptress in disguise
Willie has been drinking heavily
You must refrain from playing the tease
The scenario intensifies
When he glides his hand across your knees
As you attempt to make your escape
Barnabas Collins approaches you
With his deep, dark, mystifying eyes
Willie dutifully bids his adieu
Your uncanny resemblance to Josette duPres
Has fueled Barnabas Collins’ obsession
His attempts to recreate his long lost love
Only heightens his state of manic depression
Barnabas intends to make you his bride
Anticipation of a white wedding
But while unbeknownst to Barnabas
Willie has plans for a beheading